France for pessimists -1

Bizarre bureaucracy

On a trip to Lithuania I lost my 'carte vitale' (the green card which enables you to get 70% of your medical bills paid for by the French government). When I went to the social services to get a new one, the receptionist was friendly and it seemed it wouldn't be a problem until... she told me I was dead. 'Dead?' 'Yes, dead. You died on the 24th of January 2005.' As a result, my card was then blocked. I explained that I wasn't dead, which she admitted seemed to be true and called someone else to ask what to do. I needed to get a new birth certificate, dated after the 24th of January 2005, to prove that I am not dead. And if I can get that, it would still take another 3 months for me to get another carte vitale. The only thing that is certain in life is death and taxes. I was in the strange position of having died, yet still paying tax. snail

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So you're a pessimist... (part 1 of 3)
So you're a pessimist... (part 1 of 3)

No country in the world is perfect and that includes France. Here are one or two or perhaps three things that need some work...
	Bizarre bureaucracy On a trip to Lithuania I lost my 'carte vitale' (the green card which enables you to get 70% of your medical bills paid for by the French government). When I went to the social services to get a new one, the receptionist was friendly and it seemed it wouldn't be a problem until... she told me I was dead. 'Dead?' 'Yes, dead. You died on the 24th of January 2005.' As a result, my card was then blocked. I explained that I wasn't dead, which she admitted seemed to be true and called someone else to ask what to do. I needed to get a new birth certificate, dated after the 24th of January 2005, to prove that I am not dead. And if I can get that, it would still take another 3 months for me to get another carte vitale. The only thing that is certain in life is death and taxes. I was in the strange position of having died, yet still paying tax.
		Merde It is everywhere! Everyone in France has at least five dogs capable of producing tons of merde every year. Is there a dog licence which could pay for clean ups? Non. So, do dog owners clear up after their dogs? Non. Do they even encourage their dogs to shit in the gutter? Er, non.
		Overzealous control of trees There are loads of plane trees around France but they are rarely allowed to grow normally. They are hacked back to sad, stumpy versions of their former glory.
SNCF In 2004 SNCF, the French railway company, paid 4 million euros to change its logo from to . This is because for years people have been telling SNCF: "Your service is briiliant, trains always punctual, no strikes, excellent facilities for cyclists and the handicapped and your prices are soooo reasonable. In fact the only thing that holds you back, is your crap logo..."
		Dodgy politicians - and the public accepts them According to a reliable source, Jacques Chirac gave each of his ministers 15,000 euros a month to cover 'extra expenses'. When Chirac was accused of a scandal, French journalists spend days analysing his language, rather than the allegations against him. France does not have a Jeremy Paxman. It is very sad to watch sycophantic television journalists hanging on a politician's every word.
		The demise of the boulangerie When you think of France you think of wonderful baguettes, right? Well think again. An increasing number of French people buy their bread in supermarkets so that, as you can see in the picture, boulangeries are going out of business. A friend commented that French boulangeries sell 25 different-shaped loaves of the same crusty white bread.
Attitudes to the war "Ah yes, we had it tough during the war..." I have a Polish friend who is incensed when she hears such comments from the French. Interesting fact: At the end of World War Two, there were 106 haute couture establishments in Paris alone. How many were left in Warsaw...? On a recent French quiz programme the contestants were asked: How many French soldiers took part in the Normandy landings during the Second World War? The first couple suggested 18,000. The second couple thought the figure would be higher. The answer? 177.
		Poor signs for hikers The Pyrenees are wonderful but the signposting is pretty bad. I lost the GR10 trail three times in one morning. Is this to discourage day trippers? Allowing people to get lost in the mountains sounds more like irresponsibility.
		French Television French Television bought the rights to 'The Chair' A quiz programme where contestants have a choice of four answers, presented by Jean-Pierre Foucault. This is very different from 'Who wants to be a Millionaire' a quiz programme where contestants have a choice of four answers, presented by, er, Jean-Pierre Foucault.
		French Television II While J-P Foucault is dull, at least he is not a slimeball like Artur, presenter of the intellectually-challenging, "A prendre ou à laisser", the French version of Noel Edmonds' "Deal or No deal". He often massages the shoulders of attractive female candidates - not something you see Noel doing very often.
Want to see some of the not-so-wonderful things concerning transport in France?