I have a mum and dad, two brothers, a sister, five nieces and two nephews. In no particular order…

Norman, a.k.a. dad, with his wife Pat. A retired lecturer in pharmaceutical chemistry at Bath University, golf enthusiast, wine connoisseur and francophile.

Jean a.k.a. mum, cycling in the Pyrenees. A retired pharmacist, keep fit enthusiast and enjoys helping out old ladies around the village.

Brother Martin with partner Valentina – and no, he doesn’t normally look this ridiculous. Martin is a magician, hypnotist and lawyer. Click here to visit his website.

Brother Phil with wife Fiona – and no, he doesn’t normally look like this either. He’s a farm manager based in Kent.

Victoria, Leonard and Amybel, Phil and Fiona’s frighteningly well-mannered children.

Sister Kerry and three of her four children. Kerry is a Physics teacher and now lives in Wellington, New Zealand.

Most of my family gathered for the funeral of my maternal grandmother in 2004. If you enlarge the picture you should see my sister’s fourth child (Owen – yes named after Michael Owen) and my two brothers looking slightly more normal.